Chapter 35: Falling in love with someone in love with his childhood friend

Falling in love with someone in love with his childhood friend

[Yukari’s Perspective]

I became close with Aya right after entering high school.

Initially, when we were placed in the same class, I thought I wouldn’t be able to get along with this girl.

Aya was cheerful and full of energy, liked by everyone… which made me feel like we inhabited different worlds.

Back in middle school, I was known as the ‘serious studious girl’. So, I decided to change my image for high school. I studied reasonably well, but I also learned to socialize in a friendly and approachable manner. That was the character I crafted for myself.

Hence, Aya and I were fundamentally different from each other, or so I thought.

But it turned out to be different.

I got to know Aya and was given the nickname ‘Yukarin’.

When I calmly told her, “You can just call me Yukari”, she awkwardly apologized. In that moment, I sensed a hint of fear in her expression.

Ah, I intuitively understood that this girl was like me. Someone who was afraid and had built a facade.

I thought she was inherently diligent and timid, just like me.

Maybe that’s why Aya and I strangely got along.

While spending time with Aya, I was introduced to her childhood friend, Boyan.

He was kind of spacey, resembling Aya’s grandfather in a way. That was my initial impression.

However, as I watched Boyan more closely, that impression started to change.

He was clumsy, couldn’t lie, kind and sincere.

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Naturally, I fell in love.

And I realized it quickly.

Boyan’s gaze was always directed towards Aya.

While he interacted with her as a childhood friend, caring for her, he had feelings of love deep inside. It was the same kind of gaze I used to look at him.

But somehow, it seemed Boyan wasn’t aware of his own feelings.

Despite being so obvious, no one in the class, not even Aya or Boyan himself, noticed his love.

Except for me.

“Hey, Yukari, are you listening?”

Just when I had sorted out my feelings, Tokita chimed in.

“I’m listening. So, Aya turned you down, huh?” Thanks for reading on ManaNovel!

I was currently sitting across the table from Tokita in a fast-food joint, even though it was supposed to be a day off.

Tokita paused while eating his fries.

“Well, it’s not exactly like she turned me down. It’s more like we decided to take a break… put some distance between us.”

At this point, Tokita decided to bring up this topic.

From what I gathered, Tokita apparently tried to make amends with Aya yesterday by asking if they could start over. He even invited her to a love hotel for some reason. What an idiot.

As a result, Aya initiated the breakup.

“All my efforts just went down the drain because of this. But thanks for the help, Yukari.”

“No problem, I mean, I advised you on this… and you tried your best…”

My advice to him was to face Aya honestly, respect her feelings and show his sincerity.

But he seemed to have misunderstood it, thinking it was a good idea to win a ‘Best Couple’ award or escalate things physically. He must have panicked when he realized Aya’s feelings were drifting away.

I can understand that feeling, to an extent.

“You’re lucky you didn’t embarrass yourself with the ‘Best Couple’ award.”

“…I don’t care.”

It seems Aya’s classmates had appealed to the committee to revoke the award, claiming it was rigged with organized votes. The desperate committee head consulted Tokita, who agreed to retract the award. As a result, the second-place couple inherited the title and the ‘Wolf and Red Riding Hood’ theme.

Despite the commotion, the school festival turned out to be quite lively.

Although there were some whispers about Aya and Tokita from the audience like, “Aren’t they the couple?” It wasn’t widespread, largely due to the rumors about Aya and Boyan kissing on the rooftop or enjoying the festival together.

Most people probably sensed something romantic was happening between them.

“I think I’ll try talking to Aya again… properly this time.”

Tokita said that with a touch of desperation, looking rather comical.

Even though deep down, he probably knew it was impossible.

It felt like escapism.

I took out my smartphone and showed Tokita the screen.

“Tokita, watch this.”

I pressed the play button on the video.

On the screen, Aya and Boyan were kissing on the school rooftop.

Aya seemed to be initiating it.

After the kiss, they exchanged happy smiles.

Watching the video, Tokita froze in place.

Well, I can’t blame him.

On the first day of the cultural festival, after being turned down by Boyan.

I went up to the rooftop, seeking fresh air and stumbled upon this scene.

I was taken aback.

It was a shock.

Not because they were displaying happiness.

It was because Aya initiated the kiss.

The timid Aya, who was more self-conscious than anyone else…

…I don’t think I stand a chance against this.

I let it all go.

The emotions that had been smoldering in my heart finally vanished.

Before I knew it, I had captured it on my phone.

“…Wha… what’s this…”

A troubled, almost tearful, pitiful voice sounded.

Tokita’s eyes widened, his face contorted.

But eventually, that expression eased.

Ah, he must have realized.

Realized that there was an overwhelming force that he couldn’t change, no matter how he struggled.

I understand that feeling painfully.

“Ugh…” Tokita let out a heavy sigh, dramatically clutching his head.

“Why did she reject me? Why, out of all people, Boyan…”

Hidden in his voice, I saw his emotions waver between puzzlement and anger towards Boyan.

“It’s because you failed to verbalize it, isn’t it?”

I couldn’t help but slip from my normal tone.

Tokita stared at me in astonishment.

“Yukari, why are you mad? That’s out of character for you.”

“You were making fun of Boyan, right?”

“Huh? Oh… yeah, sorry about that. You got rejected pretty badly too.”

The way he said it, it made me even angrier.

I’m different from Tokita.

I put in my best effort, expressed my feelings sincerely and got turned down. I got rejected earnestly.

“So, what are you going to do, Tokita? Can you just give up easily?”

My tone seemed to test him and Tokita’s face turned serious.

“Well… um, I guess… it just feels impossible now. Well… Boyan probably values her more and… well, I’ve also been confessed to by a first-year student.”

His sad attempt at a smile was somewhat painful. On closer look, his eyes seemed swollen.

It’s painful, but I don’t want to accept it right now.

I can’t understand it, but I have to accept it.

I don’t want to give up, but I have no choice.

Seeing the struggle within Tokita’s light-hearted tone, I strangely didn’t feel angry.

“I guess… it’s alright. Don’t worry.”

“But… don’t make it sound so light-hearted!”

I smiled self-deprecatingly at Tokita’s retort.

I’m the same as Tokita.

Boyan is different.

Probably, even if things were going well for Tokita and Aya.

Even if there wasn’t some mysterious power at play.

Even if they didn’t show off their happy kiss.

Boyan probably wouldn’t give up.

“Let’s go to school, then!”

Tokita shouted loudly.

The store employees and other customers turned their attention towards us.

I don’t think I’ll ever like this side of Tokita.

“Meeting Boyan, huh?”

“That too. I might end up punching him…”

Actually, he wouldn’t have the courage to do that.

It’s probably just a desperate attempt at bravado.

“You should tell Boyan to take care of Aya. It might sound cooler, as her ex-boyfriend.”

“…Can I even say that? Come on, don’t be like that.”

“You sure can… don’t worry.”

“…”

Watching the dejected Tokita, I was reminded of the school trip two weeks ago.

During that two-night, three-day trip, I had made a major decision.

To confess to Boyan.

Boyan wasn’t aware of his feelings for Aya.

Right now, there might be a chance.

That’s what I thought.

However, during the school trip, Boyan had a complete transformation.

His gaze following Aya was that of a man in love.

The way Boyan looked at Aya when he saved her in the river was the gaze of someone looking at a loved one.

And Aya had changed too.

The way she looked at Boyan wasn’t the same as how she looked at a childhood friend.

It was fervent, swaying with confusion.

I knew what that emotion was.

I was the only one who noticed their changes.

I was the only one who was confronted by it.

There probably isn’t much room for intrusion.

That was my conclusion.

On the final day of the school trip.

Even though the Shinkansen had arrived at the nearest terminal station, Boyan was leaning his head against the window, sleeping.

Everyone was getting ready to disembark and lining up in the aisle.

Everyone must be tired. No one woke Boyan up.

I approached Boyan while lining up.

Boyan’s profile as he slept, looking so comfortable.

As I watched, a feeling welled up from deep within me.

My hand naturally extended and touched Boyan’s shoulder.

“Mmm…”

Boyan let out a soft groan.

After all that’s happened, I wonder if Boyan is tired.

Did he not sleep last night?

What kind of dream is he having?

I was the one who fell in love first.

Overflowing emotions were making tears well up.

I didn’t know how to deal with these feelings.

I can’t give up.

It would be easier if I could.

If I gave up, I might find a new love someday.

If I don’t give up, painful days lie ahead.

But I can’t give up.

What should I do?

How can I erase these feelings?

Touching Boyan’s shoulder, I fervently wished.

“Please, someone, help me to give up on him.”

—I will grant your wish.

I felt like I heard someone’s voice.

After that, I became able to intuitively understand Boyan’s preferences.

The gestures, choice of words, clothing, atmosphere, scent of the girl he likes.

There were things that resembled my true self and things that were different.

I acted according to the voice of intuition.

Sometimes, I changed myself.

Yet, Boyan didn’t pay attention to any of it.

Even though I was right in the middle of his type.

Boyan’s awareness was always directed towards Aya.

It was tiring to dismantle possibilities one by one, but it was also a time of gradually coming to terms with it.

I wanted to give up.

Tokita had to give up.

But Boyan didn’t give up.

Aya probably didn’t either.

- - -

Leaving Tokita behind, I left the fast food restaurant.

It’s still early afternoon, so the sunlight is dazzling.

A cool breeze sways my bangs.

Summer is coming to an end soon.

Once October arrives, it’ll be midterm exams.

Starting to study now wouldn’t be too early.

“Well then, maybe it’s time to focus on studying. I’ll be all about studying for a while.”

Speaking in my natural tone, I mutter to myself.

This time, without a doubt, it’s my true intention.

I could no longer hear the voice of god.