Chapter 83: Yukishiro

Yukishiro

A path covered by a thick layer of snow. Hidden is a dim darkness thanks to the sun having already vanished beyond the horizon.

No one is around……no…one.

When I came to a halt and looked in front of me, all I could see was a pure white path without a single footstep sullying its evenness. On the sides were illuminated houses with their roofs carrying beautiful piles of snow.

It’s not that I’m walking by myself outside on the night of New Year’s Eve, but I never knew that the city could be so silent.

My face hidden below the hood of the long, black coat, I was holding an umbrella which I had taken with me after wavering about it for a while. Yet, not a single person had doubted the strangeness of carrying an umbrella amidst heavy snowfall.

Oh, how nice would it be if this snow could freeze my heart as it kept falling while accumulating on me.

Even though it’s unsightly, I’m still alive. Just as I was unable to accomplish things successfully, I was unable to conduct properly. Unable to protect what I carried while extending both arms, I gave up on everything and ran away. Unable to depend on the kindness that was offered to me, I displayed falsehood. And yet, I was unable to embrace the despair in the end, and ran away once again.

My feet, which have been treading through the carpet of snow, have become chilled from the coldness for a good while now. The white puffs leaving my mouth melt into the darkness as soon as they leave my lips. As soon as I opened a palm, big, pretty snow crystals quickly piled up on my hand.

Just as the weather forecast said, the heavy snow continued to silently and peacefully flutter down, unhindered by any wind.

What is the destination of my walking? It’s not like I have a place I could go to. Yet, the place my feet stopped at isn’t anywhere I can stay.

Once I looked back, the traces of my walking were slowly but surely erased by the snow.

As if I hadn’t been there in the first place.

As if I wasn’t needed from the very start.

Yet, I resumed walking once more. After all, I cannot stay here. After all, I……mustn’t stay.

“Haa haa…haa haa…park.”

Before I noticed, I was standing in the public where I had often played as a child. I put strength in my frozen legs and kept walking through the park, drearily and dishearteningly illuminated by street lights.

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Lilika-onee-chan played here with me. Ena-san watched over me. And mother…held hands with me.

Back then I still didn’t know anything. I was allowed to indulge in innocent, pure hopes. I was able to honestly laugh from my heart. I loved and I was being loved. My heart experienced joy, fun, anger, sadness, grief, and yet, I still laughed.

“……Swings.”

Lilika-onee-chan and I had climbed on the two swings. Ena-san had gently pushed Lilika-onee-chan’s swing while Mother had done the same for my swing.

“……More…more, more.”

I had pleaded to Mother to push me more. I begged while laughing loudly.

But, as I grew older, begging…pleading stopped being permissible.

“……I’m not a child anymore.”

So I told myself. Each time the number of painful things increased, I told myself so. Over and over and over again, I told myself…continuing to change my heart’s color.

“I’m no longer…me.” Thanks for reading on ManaNovel!

I wonder since when I started to wear a mask? Since when did I start to lie? And since when did I hurt…the me who is not me?

“…Flower.”

The flower beds in the park were glittering white, yet yellow flowers could be seen peeking out through gaps in the layer of snow. Looking close, the white petals around the yellow center were blending with the snow. There were all sorts of petals. White, pink, and orange ones. Heaps of snow petals were blooming.

“……Marguerites.”

The flower given to me by Lilika-onee-chan. She has been decorating my room with them.

『Those are just as beautiful as you, Yukishiro-chan』

Wrong.

That’s not right. It’s wrong.

I’m not beautiful!

Look how ugly I am!

『I’m sure a man, who will trust you and offer you his genuine love, will show up sooner or later』

There are no people who would trust an ugly woman like me! I couldn’t offer my genuine love, so there’s no way I could get anyone to offer theirs to me!

“I’m…I’m……”

Yes, what am I anyway? Even now that I ran away in a disgusting and unsightly manner, I still exist. I don’t even have the courage to end my life, yet I don’t possess any will to live on either. Despite me being unable to do anything other than accepting the cruel reality.

“At this point…I’m already…”

I knelt down in front of a flower bed.

Receiving the weight of the soft snow would take just a moment. Just like this, until the snow erases all of me…

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The umbrella fell out of my hand. My fingers have lost all their senses. The heat escaped my lips as a long breath before vanishing.

crunch

I wanted to have a nice chat with Akari-san and the others before the end.

crunch crunch

I wanted to drink milk tea together with Lilika-onee-chan before the end.

crunch crunch crunch

I wanted to hear…his voice before the end.

rustle

The falling snow has become distant. I’ve been caught again before I could dissolve together with the snow. As a doll that’s not dead or alive.

“Good evening.”

The sound of someone going down on their knees behind me. I thought the voice might be an auditory hallucination.

But, at this point, there’s no way for me to mistake it. This voice…I depended on it…clung to it.

crunch

“Good evening.”

A clear, cute voice. One that seemed to penetrate to the farthest reaches under this snow night sky.

“What a luck that we were able to find you, Yukishiro-san.”

“Yukishiro-san…”

“Why?”

Why are Yuuta-sama and Aoi-san here?

“We were contacted by Akari-san.”

“Akari-san?”

Why was Akari-san able to contact Yuuta-sama and Aoi-san? Why did she know about my situation?

“Akari-san was contacted by Lilika-san.”

Lilika-onee-chan has…

“Is…that so? Please forgive me for causing you all this trouble.”

“Yukishiro-san.”

Yuuta-sama’s gentle voice. His voice that has soothed my heart so many times. Yet, I merely clung to it one-sidedly.

“I will go back right away, so…”

It’s very unlikely that I can stand up. But, I mustn’t show them my clumsy, awkward side….

“Where are you going back to? To the Minatos?”

“…Yes.”

There is no other place for me. As long as I’m Yukishiro.

“I will head back after resting for a bit, so you…”

“Yukishiro-san.”

Ah, I had always wished for him to call my name. With his kind voice.

“Lilika-san is waiting outside the park.

Ah, Lilika-onee-chan is here.

“And so is Akari-san.”

Akari-san too……

“Won’t you come with us instead of going back to the Minatos?”

With them? With Yuuta and Aoi? Where to?

“S-Something like…”

“Let us go!”

Aoi-san hugged me. Her voice felt powerful and reassuring.

“I…”

“We have built Yuuta-sama’s detached mansion on the Yoshiwara grounds.”

Yuuta-sama’s mansion. A place for the sake of Yuuta-sama who has become Aoi-san’s lover…how dreamy.

“We are recruiting a maid who will work at that mansion as a live-in!”

“Eh?”

A maid who works there as a live-in? Why would they recruit someone like that? If it’s the Yoshiwaras, they have more than enough people working for them.

“Moreover, it’s first come, first served!”

“First come, first served?”

“Yes. We are currently recruiting a live-in maid where the first person to come will get the job.”

Why? And why first come first served?

“Yukishiro-san.”

“Y-Yes.”

“I don’t know you well. But, I felt happy that you worried about me on that School Day.”

“T-That was…”

“Yukishiro-san, you don’t know me well either, so I understand that you’ll be troubled if I tell you all that suddenly.”

You’re wrong. It’s impossible in my position.

Aoi-san told me with a gentle voice as she hugged the trembling me, “We heard about your situation from Lilika-san. Yukishiro-san, please use me…the Yoshiwaras.”

“U-Use?”

“Yes. I have already talked this over with Mother. You can hide yourself at our place temporarily as the Yoshiwaras can easily deal with all sorts of problems.”

T-That…might be true, but…

“Please allow us to protect you, Yukishiro-san.”

“Protect? Me…? Why…? Why would you, Yuuta-sama and Aoi-san, do that…?”

Even though it’s nothing more than a bother…

Why would they do something…that seems more trouble than it’s worth…for someone like me…?

“I think I somewhat understand your hardships, pain, and suffering. After all, I’m in a similar position. Because of that, I cannot simply watch you getting hurt without saying a word!”

“Me too. Even if it might seem like hypocrisy, I won’t abandon you, Yukishiro-san. I’m a selfish man. So, won’t you listen…to my selfishness?”

Aoi-san…Yuuta-sama…

Why are you so kind to me…?

“I…I am…”

“Yukishiro-san!”

Aoi-san hugged me even tighter.

“Yukishiro-san.”

Yuuta-sama clasped my hand.

His hand was warm.

Surprised by my hand’s coldness, he used both his hand to gently hold it.

“For now, come with us without worry! We will definitely protect you!”

“Yeah, let’s get your body heated up and allow it to slowly rest. Come now…”

I put strength in my frozen hand. And then I clasped back Yuuta-sama’s warm hand tightly.

As tears continued to drip down, my heart quickly became warm. My tears endlessly spilled over like melt water that has thawed from the newly gained warmth in my heart.

I grabbed the hand that was held out to me. I clung to it.

But, is that really okay? While not understanding anything.

Relying on Yuuta-sama and Aoi-san’s kindness…

“Ah……”

“Yukishiro-san, you can’t stand up, right? Please excuse me then.”

“Eh? Ah, t-that will not do.”

“It’s fine. I might look like this, but I have been working out.”

Yuuta-sama lifted me up as I couldn’t even get up anymore. For him to give me something like this…a p-princess carry in front of his girlfriend…

“Please hold on tight to Yuuta-sama, okay♪?”

Aoi-san, why are you so happy? I’m being carried like a baby by your boyfriend….

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“Yukishiro-sama!”

Once we left the park, Lilika-onee-chan rushed over to me, her eyes obviously red from crying.

Sorry.

For me to have written such a letter to my beloved Lilika-onee-chan…

“Forgive me, Lilika-san.”

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I have…I have…”

Lilika-onee-chan gently stroked my cheek as I was being carried by Yuuta-sama. Behind her I could also see Akari-san.

“You too, Akari-san. Please forgive me.”

While sobbing, she squeezed out, “…I-I’m so glad…p-please take a good break for now.”

I made Akari-san cry as well.

Sorry. I’m sorry for being unable to do anything.

“Let’s go.”

Carried by Yuuta-sama, I was put into a car. At this point I had already no power to move out of my own strength.

The footsteps, which haven’t vanished yet, definitely exist in the park, visible outside the car’s window.

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“Please take good care of Yukishiro-sama.”

“Of course. You can count on me.”

Yuuta and the others returned to Yuuta’s mansion on the Yoshiwara estate with Yukishiro in tow. Lilika had been nursing Yukishiro whose body had weakened significantly after getting completely chilled. And now, just a few minutes ago, Yukishiro finally fell asleep.

“Please call me at any time if something happens.”

Yes. I shall rely on you on such an occasion.”

Lilika went back to the residence of the Minatos. The Minatos likely hadn’t realized Yukishiro’s disappearance yet. If they had, Lilika’s smartphone would have doubtlessly rang. But, so far not a single call or message had arrived on her phone.

“Lilika-san, if something happens to you, please rely on the Yoshiwaras whenever necessary.”

“Thank you kindly.”

It was planned for Lilika to go back to the Minato residence for the moment, and then go home after checking the situation over there.

Tomorrow was New Year’s Day. At that point, Yukishiro’s disappearance would definitely be found out. And the one being questioned first about Yukishiro’s whereabouts would likely be Lilika.

Lilika had no intention to tell the Minatos anything. If she managed to confirm the situation, she planned to tell the Minatos that she had last seen Yukishiro on the evening of December the 31st and didn’t know anything beyond that.

But, that was only stalling for time. Lilika had resolved herself that she had to depend on Yuuta and Aoi, the Yoshiwaras.

“Yuuta-sama, Aoi-sama, I’m truly thankful.”

“Akari-san, sorry for having kept you up until such a late hour. We will definitely protect Yukishiro-san. Please take care of the other girls until things proceed in a good direction.”

“Okay. We haven’t been going to Takuya-sama’s class anymore. All of us are studying by ourselves at home. I will put a lot of effort into calming everyone when I inform them about Yukishiro-sama’s matter.”

The other girls, who adored Yukishiro, would likely suffer a big shock once they hear about Yukishiro’s disappearance. But it was impossible to immediately tell them about the Yoshiwaras sheltering Yukishiro.

Akari too hardened her resolve that she’d have to depend on Yuuta and the others and that she’d move for the sake of Yukishiro, if something were to happen.

“Does that mean you and the other girls have quit being Takuya-kun’s indirect affiliates?”

“Yes. Everyone has decided to do so. Though we stay affiliated to him as before until March the 31st.”

Once they quit being Takuya’s indirect affiliates, they would become high family daughters who were unable to affiliate themselves with a boy’s class.

“I see… Please come and visit Yukishiro-san as soon as her health recovers.”

“I shall definitely take you up on that offer.”

“You are always very welcome here.”

Yuuta had decided that it was still too early to say anything specific. Things would change depending on how the matter with Yukishiro would proceed. He believed that he had to discuss this with Aoi as well, but felt that his and her thinking might align quite a bit.

Since Akari and the other girls had their own circumstances as well, he thought he should carefully watch how the situation developed without making any hasty moves. After all, the families of Akari and the other girls had deep ties with the Minatos.

And just like this, Lilika and Akari went back from the Yoshiwaras.

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“Hmm, there sure has been a lot going on.”

Yuuta reflected on the past day while stretching himself.

“It’s great that we managed to find Yukishiro-san in time thanks to everyone’s cooperation.”

Aoi was hugging Yuuta while fawning on him.

“We must give our thanks to Dreamseducers as well.”

“Yes.”

They had not only the Yoshiwaras, but also Dreamseducers (through Ayaka) search for Yukishiro. If one wanted to mobilize great numbers, the assistance of common citizens was indispensable.

And as a matter of fact, a member of Dreamseducers had given them the key information that led to the discovery of Yukishiro. They had been searching for her while depending on the special trait of Yukishiro wearing a black, long coat, which Lilika had told them about.

It was also a stroke of good luck that Akari had visited the Yoshiwaras on December the 30th to exchange contact addresses with Aoi.

“It’s probably bad that I previously meddled in Yukishiro-san’s matters, so I leave matters to you, Aoi-san. But, please tell me if you need my help with anything. I will gladly lend you the little bit of help I can.”

“You can count on me! Yuuta-sama…thank you very much for having accepted to take in Yukishiro-san.”

“No, it’s not like I took her in. It’s the Yoshiwaras.”

“Even so. If you had refused to help, the Yoshiwaras likely wouldn’t have been able to move for Yukishiro-san’s sake either.”

It wasn’t as though anything had been resolved yet. Rather, you could say that the problem had only become bigger.

“Now then, I guess we should get a rest as well.”

“Okay.”

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Large flakes of snow continued to fall, even as the new year dawned. But, no matter how much they might pile up, sooner or later the snow would thaw again.

Right now, calmly and silently waiting for that time to come was the only option available.