Chapter 39: Opportunity to explain (2)

Approx. 22min reading time

“All in all he was a progressive before being progressive was trendy.”

She took a small drink of heavily watered wine that Mark poured for her.

“It was all going so well for everyone until my Father asked for money.”

“I didn't know that,” Emma put in.

“Oh yes. Some of you have wondered why there was a gap between Emma's birth and Samuel's? That's why. Father sent a message one day saying that he required funds and that should those funds not be forthcoming then my secret would be made public. Your father had already made several concessions regarding our marriage and told the then Lord Kalayn to go and fuck himself. The language was more flowery than that of course but you get the idea.”

It's always a special moment whenever my mother swears.

“Your father assumed, correctly, that Lord Kalayn wouldn't spread the word of my losing my virginity in a godless cult. The Holy Flame wasn't as powerful back then as it is now but at the same time, such cults would have gathered the wrong kind of attention. Lord Kalayn tried to put nasty rumours about anyway but they got lost in the muddle of all the other people who were trying to discredit the Coulthard's in general anyway and as a result of that they were ignored.

“Except they weren't because my husband now knew about the family secret.

“I have often wondered if he hated me then.

“Time passed and eventually your father's temper cooled and we reconciled. My father died and my brother inherited. My brother is a reasonably good man despite having been far too under the spell of his father and Grandfather but unfortunately he couldn't prevent the fact that his son turned out to be the most vile and contemptible piece of human waste that has ever been produced.

“They came for a visit shortly after my brother inherited...”

“I remember that,” said Mark. “I also remember being surprised when it ended really abruptly.”

“Yes, do you remember why?”

“No,”

“Good, we worked hard at keeping it out of the light. Your cousin, all of fourteen at the time, around Edmund's age went for a ride with Edmund. The two boys came back muddy and laughing as though they had shared the best jest ever. They were laughing and giggling all the way through dinner and when questioned, Edmund said that his cousin had “baptised him,”

“Of course I knew what he meant.

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“We eventually found the farmstead in question where a young woman had been raped with her husband killed and the woman lying dead next to him having bled to death from some kind of internal rupturing. She'd had the tendons in her legs cut so that she couldn't move. The boys were laughing at the “funny” movements that she had made while she lay there and they raped her. Your cousin said that “The wriggling was most satisfactory” and complimented us on the quality of entertainment that the locals provided.

“I have never seen your father so angry.

“You all know your fathers rages as cold things, about how he freezes and goes deathly quiet? This was different. It was explosive and could not be contained. He thrashed your cousin, dragged my brother from his bed and dragged him down to the yard where he would have killed him had the guards not prevented it. My brother, his wife and son as well as his servants were told to clear out immediately. Their belongings were confiscated to pay restitution to the deceased's family members. My brother complained to the King but the King had seen which way the wind was blowing regarding the church of the holy flame gaining power as well as the fact that one of his chief advisers was a woman so he was given short shrift.

“Your father never forgave me for bringing my brother here. He saw those events as having spoiled Edmund, ruined him in some way. My family tainting his. We spoke about it often and he apologised for it equally as often. He just couldn't forgive me for it.

“But what he couldn't see, what he was incapable of seeing was that his reaction to those events made me love him all the more. He didn't understand it, he couldn't understand it. That was the point and even more than that, he tried to help Edmund. He really did try.

“Unfortunately it was not to be.

“I don't know when we lost Edmund. It might have been four or five years ago. I've spent some time thinking about it over the last couple of days and have come to the conclusion that there was no single defining moment. I think it was a gradual creeping thing. Edmund's appetites had been growing for sometime. Your father had already paid off some creditors directly, taking it from Your brothers allowance, we tried having him taken off to a monastery to get him clean and sober. An experience which was awful for everyone concerned. But in the end there was just no stopping him.

“By then your Father and I had grown apart. I had made it clear that I wanted to take holy orders, partly to atone for my past but deep down we did still love each other it was just that when we looked at each other... Everything we had got so wonderfully right in the rest of you, we had gotten so terrifyingly wrong for Edmund and he was the one that was going to inherit. I understand there was some provision made to protect the five of you from Edmund when your father passed on but other than that...”

she shrugged.

“Then Edmund came home a few weeks a go. He seemed like a dutiful son as though something had changed. The accident happened as you know and then... Thanks for reading on ManaNovel!

“I don't know what to say. It was shortly after we had been told that your Father's injury was fatal. I didn't know then, about the death of the Stable-master and his wife, but I looked at Edmund and there was a look of triumph there that chilled my soul. I realised what he had done and that this... thing... in front of me was no longer my son.”

She took another drink.

“It was an odd thing really. I remember numerous events in my life where I have made decisions. Decisions for the positive. I remember deciding that I was going to marry your Father. I was sat on a bench in the gardens at my families estates, looking up at the house and realising that I wanted to get away from it all and that it was your father who had been kindest to me when I met my other suitors.

“I remember deciding on the names of all my children.

“I remember deciding to take holy orders.

“But I remember no such moment, no such critical, thought out moment where I decided to murder my son. Or rather, murdering the thing that my son had become. I almost thought of it like I was having to put down a sick animal. But I didn't decide it.

“I just realised that that was what I was going to do.

“I was inspecting the Kitchen as part of my duties to make sure things were in order and discussing with the cooks what could be served for your Fathers internment feast when I looked over at the selection of knives and thought that one of those would do the job nicely. It was just....

“Oh I don't know what I'm saying.

“I just...I just knew that that was what I was going to do.

“It's not as if there weren't plenty of reasons to kill him either. Safety of the family, safety of the surrounding people who owe our family fealty, safety of our family name and business and all the people who depend on us for their profession. All of those are true, and all of those are the reason that I have been able to live with the deed afterwards. If Edmund had been allowed to survive, our people would have suffered. Our family would have been destroyed as well but that seems superfluous. I kind of see it as my duty, both as his mother and as a duty to my husband to give the land and it's people someone who will look after it.”

She shrugged again.

“I cannot judge the correctness of those sentiments but that is how I've managed to justify it to myself.

“I took the knife. No-one questioned me, I borrowed the dressing mannequin to practice a few times but in all truth it wasn't that difficult. He demanded the keys to the study one night and I saw that this would be the perfect opportunity. I waited, followed him in where I found him at the desk, surveying his Kingdom as it were. He said something although I don't know what it was.

“It was so easy.

“I just walked up to him, he was looking up at me which meant that his throat was all but open. I leant forwards and the knife went in.

“Pushing the knife in was easy. Taking it out was much harder and I had to jump backward to avoid his blood spraying on me.

“He looked so surprised.

“I returned to my room, cleaned the knife and that was it. Between you, you know the rest.”

Mark nodded and looked around at the rest of us. His face was like a mask and I wondered if this is how he looked when he was dealing with confessions and the like.

Probably.

“So that's how it happened.” He said. “Also it explains the why. I do have a couple of questions though. Why did you not bring the knowledge of your families heresy to the attention of the church?”

Mother was still standing. I saw that it had cost her to stand there before her four children and tell that story, her hands were trembling.

“I, ummm, I don't know. It was normal to me. That was just... how we lived. I had to be told that it wasn't ok. I had to told that what had happened was heresy, that these things were not normal in everyone else's household. By the time it was coming up. I hoped, I prayed that my brother was making his own way apart from the rest of his families past and when it became clear that it wasn't...”

She shrugged again.

“Your Father begged me and made me swear on the fire that neither any of you, nor the rest of the world would find out about it from my lips. It was a promise that I was not reluctant to keep.”

Mark nodded.

“Then following on from that. If you knew that Edmund had descended into madness or into the nearest equivalent and decided to put him down like the sick dog that you saw him to be. Why not confess your deeds?”

“I did consider it. I would have done so had Sir Robart pursued Frederick any further. But I couldn't think of a way to do so without breaking my promise to your father who was still alive at the time and thus my promise still held me.”

Another nod from Mark.

“Well I don't have any more questions for this witness. Does anyone else want to ask anything?”

Emma, Sam and I shook our heads collectively. I can't speak for the others but I, for one, just wanted the entire thing to be over and done with.

“In which case,” Mark went on. “Does anyone want to say anything in particular about the case or about the accused and her confessed actions?”

“I do,” said Kerrass from his corner.

I had honestly forgotten that he was there and from the look on Mark's face as well as mothers, I wasn't alone.

“I do actually.” Kerrass got up and moved over towards the middle of the room and took a deep breath. “I am a Witcher. As such my... involvement in these kinds of affairs has often come to a close by this point in the proceedings. When I am hired to do a job, I find the culprit and then, if said culprit is a monster, I destroy the monster and move on, happily pocketing my fee. This time is slightly different as I originally came here to support my friend through a difficult time and as such I was quite surprised to find myself working during these events.

“It is not uncommon for the results of a more regular job to match up with what has happened here. People hire a Witcher for a variety of reasons, but one of the more common ones is that the death of... whichever person is so.... horrible, so grotesque that it can't possibly have been performed by a human being, therefore the crime must have been committed by a monster and that's what Witcher's are for isn't it? The extermination of monsters?

“The people who say that are correct. That is what we are for. It is our reason for existence. It is our calling, by destiny some say or by being suited to the task. But sometimes we investigate these crimes against nature and against, heh, sentient being and we find that the culprit is another sentient being whether that being be Human, Elf, Dwarf, Halfling, Gnome or otherwise.”

“Otherwise?” Mark raised an eyebrow with a slight smile.

“You'd be surprised Your Eminence. Anyway.

“Normally in those circumstances it is our practice as Witchers to hand over our findings and the culprit to the local authorities and let them do with the culprit what they will. Sometimes though there is a problem. Sometimes we find a monster that is wearing a human skin, or the skin of authority of some kind.

“So what do we do then?

“It is a discussion that has kept some of us awake at nights as to how we are meant to proceed. It should also be said that this is a problem that is getting worse as the days and years continue in their onward progress. More and more monsters that I track turn out to be the result of bored people out for...

“Fun,”

Kerrass grimaced.

“Handing these people over to proper authorities will only result in disbelief.”

Kerrass' voice took on a high and wheedling tone,

“Oh no Master Witcher, It can't possibly have been him. He's our son. You must be mistaken and there is something darker at work. That local old herb woman gave him the evil eye last week and maybe she's influencing him. Or those sprites that live in the hills. They are the real culprits.”

His voice returned to normal.

“What to do then? Some Witchers wash their hands of the entire thing and leave. Some Witchers take a more...strict view of things. They say to themselves: “I kill monsters. There is a monster and I must kill it.” and as a result the culprit is killed and the Witcher does their best to escape unhindered. Often with the gratitude and fear of the townsfolk speeding them on their way. The townsfolk having long known who the real culprit is.

“For myself and how I handle things in those kinds of situations. I look at my reflection. In a mirror, a pond, some other body of water or, failing all else, in my sword blade. I ask myself whether I could look myself in the eye if I did nothing.”

Kerrass took the time to look each of us in the eye. Mark definitely looked away, as did Sam and my mother I think.

“If the answer is that I couldn't live with myself? I destroy the monster and live with the consequences. If I can, I ride away without looking back.

“I recognise myself in the Lady's story. I recognise the symptoms of having a close friend or someone you consider as family go mad. Some of you may have heard stories about Witchers from the Feline school and their occasional tendency to go mad. In those instances they have become monsters and it becomes a Witchers duty to investigate and, if necessary, destroy those monsters.

“Sometimes, what society needs is a person with a sword. A person who is willing to use that sword no matter the cost.

“Because sometimes, the monster in question would normally be protected by society to the detriment of itself.

“To my mind... In that moment where the Lady decided to destroy her son, and yes I use the word destroy. Men are killed. Monsters are destroyed. She became a Witcher. Although for the briefest of times.

“It is clear, having read Edmund's diary and hearing stories about him, that Edmund had descended into monsterdom. That he had been driven mad by too much alcohol, drugs, hedonism and the worship and demands of his dark cult was evident and although he might have been able to fight off those effects for a time, sooner or later it was in his nature to go back to those hedonistic ways. If the church had caught him, there would be little doubt in my mind that he would now be waiting for his own funeral pyre.

“If he had been allowed to inherit?

“Think about what that would have meant. Not just for yourselves but for the other inhabitants of this castle. Or the inhabitants of your lands and your business parties. If he had been discovered at a later date, the results would have been catastrophic.

“The lady saw the problem and she cut it out in the same way that a surgeon removes a cancer.

“Or in the same way that a Witcher destroys a monster.”

Kerrass thought for a moment.

“No I think that's everything. If the court will permit me a small gesture...”

He fumbled in a pouch on his belt.

“Every so often we hear of a Witcher who has died or come across a place where a Witcher has been killed by a local monster or misunderstanding.”

He grinned nastily for a moment.

“Wherever possible we do our best to avenge the death and recover that Witcher's medallion. As such I have a small collection.”

He pulled out a medallion and turned to my mother.

“These are not given out often.” He said to her. “More often than not they are returned to our private places where they are kept so that those of us who still live can see them and remember the men who wore them, no matter what happened to them.”

He held out the medallion. I would later learn that it depicted a Griffin.

“This is not a gift. Nor is it an honour to receive one although some people take it as such and I would not tell them that they are wrong in believing that it is. Rather it is an acknowledgement. A token, given from a professional to a person who he thinks should have been wearing one at the time.”

Mother appeared to think for a moment before holding out a hand and taking it, she wrapped the chain around her fist in the same way that you would a rosary symbol of the fire so that the medallion itself rested on her fingers as she examined it.

I think, I hope that she was moved.

I certainly was.

“In that moment, Madam, you were a Witcher and I greet you as a sister.”

He took her hand and grasped it while clapping her on the shoulder with the other. When he was done, he nodded to the rest of us and left the room.

“Well,” muttered Mark. “Schooled on humanity by a Witcher.”

I saw small answering smiles on the faces of Emma and Sam.

Mothers face was unreadable.

“Ok, so,” Mark carried on. “The next thing to do is to decide what to do next. There's an even number of votes so we can't just vote on things. When that happens in those trials that I've been a part of where there is an even number of judges...”

“Hold on,” said Sam. “You're talking about Church courts. This is a civil matter surely as it's a straight murder without anything to do with heresy.”

“True,” Mark answered. “But there is no civil leader here as Father died. Normally, the feudal head of the area would make the decision, judge and jury style but we don't have that luxury. We could wait until after the will is read I suppose but... I don't feel comfortable with that.”

“Apart from anything else, it is a little cruel to make the accused wait for her sentencing for a couple of days. Especially after a funeral.” Emma put in.

“The responsibility is ours.” Mark added.

“Well, you're the almost certain leader. Why don't you just do it?” Sam asked. “Not that I want to pass this off but... I do want to make sure that this doesn't come back to bite us.”

“I was given authority to deal with this.” I finally felt as though I had something to say. “I think this needs to be done. It will also send a message, as a whole, to Father's enemies that we will not allow anything to come between us. We may argue about the result but once we leave here we need to be united and a decision made.”

“I agree,” said Mark.

“I would like to hear what Mark's advice is.” Emma nodded.

“Well I would say this. We appoint a head judge who doesn't have a vote. That judge narrows the choice for the others, in this case, the remaining three people. The Three make a vote along with any additions that they want to add. The head judge will take the vote. Further votes may come up for instance. The person must die, what method is used? And so on.”

“Ok.”

“So who's going to be the head judge?” Emma asked after a pause during which we exchanged uncomfortable glances.

“I think Mark.” Sam said. He had his arms folded.

“Yes, he has experience here and as such, that role best suits him.” I agreed. “Also, he's the most likely to inherit estate and title barring legal wobbles so it's a good image when people question this decision.”

“I notice that you say “when people question” there,” Mark smiled sadly.

“Because they will.”

“You're probably right. Everyone happy with me as the head judge?”

I nodded, as did Emma.

Sam felt the need to say it aloud. “Yes.”

“Right then.” He spent a long time just looking at our Mother who was examining the medallion on her hand while covertly looking at the four of us and when he spoke again he seemed a lot more formal. I began to think of it as his “Inquisitor” voice.

“The lady's guilt is without doubt. She has confessed after all which means that the question is not a matter of guilt but rather what we should do about it. The penalty for murder, especially the murder of your own child, is death. But there are also, undeniable, circumstances that may excuse her actions. The Lady has many times expressed her wish to take holy orders after her husbands death. That can easily be changed or adjusted to form a penance rather than a steady and spiritual retirement.

“So that's the question. Do we execute or do we let her live? Either result will mean further debate. I suggest that we vote and speak in order of descending age. Remember to express reasoning as well. Should we take a break to consider?”

“No, I want to get this over with,” Emma said and I must say that I shared the sentiment. “which means that I start.”

She paused, presumably to get her words in the right order.

“There is one thing that sets me apart from you all gentlemen. Including even our surprisingly eloquent Witcher, in that I am a woman and as such... The victims...appetites hold special horror for me in a way that they wouldn't for any of you. My sex and my social standing in being a woman in a man's world has it's insights as well. I suspect that I share with the accused a particular experience which is that of serving people coming to us to complain about the actions of the victim.”

I was watching Mother carefully and I am sure I saw her twitch at that.

“There is one serving maid who is no longer working at the castle who was raped and impregnated by Edmund. He swore to me that she was willing but she remembered nothing of the events having taken a drink earlier that evening. According to law, Edmund was well within his rights and as a noble man, his word is considered as greater than hers. I could not prove it but I am sure that the girls drink had been tampered with.

“The man was a predator and he preyed on those weaker than himself.

“Also, I have the perspective of being heavily involved in the family business and therefore having to do with the people who live round the castle. All of the hard work that we have all put in over the years, including Father and Grandfather would have been undone. Our place in the nobility is not as stable as we would all like to think, so imagine what would happen if Edmund had inherited. Broken his word to the merchants which would render the business void and raped the daughter of a visiting nobleman. The family would be destroyed as an armed force appears on our doorstep. Our men desert as they would rather serve reasonably honourable men rather than a rapist, cheating murderer and suddenly... The Coulthards are no more.

“I will admit to personal bias as well. I had been assaulted many times by Edmund under the guise of brotherly affection. What he called affection, I called assault. If Edmund had lived, then I would have been, at best, raped and murdered. It is very likely that the accused saved my life in doing what she did.

“I wish I had had the courage.

“I vote for a stay of execution and that the accused be aloud to retire in peace.”

Mark nodded, his face betraying no emotion. He was really good at this.

“Sam?”

Sam shook his head.

“I will say the word.

“Mother.

“She is our Mother and it would be useless to try to think otherwise.

“Mother. We all keep sitting here and saying “The accused”, or “The victim” but what we're really talking about is our Mother and our Brother. Our Mother killed our Brother.

“That fact alone has a bearing here and I am astonished that we are being aloud to govern it ourselves so much so that if I didn't know Frederick, another brother, I would have said that it was strange enough to warrant checking that we weren't acting outside our authority.

“The other thing here is that this decision is going to picked over by those who come after us. Our descendants as well as our rivals which, and I agree with Emma here, are many.

“This decision will dictate what people think of us and whether the Coulthard family are seen as grim and hard law-keepers who uphold the law without mercy or compassion. Or limp and soft men and women who only uphold the law when it suits them.

“I love my Mother. I do but I must ask myself what I would do if it was anyone else here. Anyone else who spun me a tale, no matter how provable, of her victims crimes.

“I would uphold the law.

“The law says that she dies.”

He looked over at Mother who met his gaze. He shrugged.

“I'm sorry,”

Mark nodded and turned to me.

“So it comes to me, as I kind of knew it would.” Again I had that sensation of speaking down a long tube from a far away place. “It might even be said that it should come down to me as some would say that I set these events in motion.

“That the murder took place is not in any doubt.

“But I also agree that Edmund needed to die to save our people as well as ourselves and those innocents whose lives would be impacted by his actions.

“I could argue, incorrectly, that as the widow of the murdered man, she has the right of vengeance.

“But none of that fits.

“Instead, I will say this and it's this that makes me most angry.

“It will take some time to get to my point so, please be patient.”

I saw Mark's lips quirk towards a smile.

“I have travelled with Kerrass the Witcher now for sometimes and I would say that I have seen humanity at it's best and it's worst. We have shared dangers and hardships and I am enormously flattered that he calls me his friend and as such I am sympathetic to his viewpoint.

“The deed was done. The accused, our Mother, saw that an unpleasant thing needed to be done and so she did it.”

I looked my mother in her eye then and strove to keep her gaze.

“To me, that was not a crime. It was something that needed doing. If she had then confessed to her actions to the sheriff's deputy saying, “See, this is why I did it.” Then we would have found everything out much sooner. Including the heresy and the torture and the victimisation and all the other crimes that Edmund and his slimy little cronies committed.

“Instead she kept quiet and hoped that it would blow over.

“One of the things that Kerrass said was that a Witcher sometimes makes a choice between doing the right thing. He said that he destroys the monster and lives with the consequences.

“The accused did not do that.

“Instead she allowed the Under sheriff to accuse one of her children.”

I saw her mouth begin to open.

“The lady might say that she would have spoken up if I had been imprisoned tortured and executed but to that I say this. The Under-sheriff told me that he had every intention of summarily hanging me from the nearest tree. If he had gotten me to imprisonment and had me questioned, I am sure others will agree with me that a man will say anything to escape the pain including to confess to the crime. How would the lady stop things if I had confessed under torture. She would be seen as a woman who would do anything to let her child escape the sentence.”

Mother looked away. For a moment I felt a sense of triumph, but then, after a while, I just felt sick.

“I agree with Sam, it is impossible for me to distance myself from these events.

“But, there is another consideration here that we must take into account.

“How many of these awful, awful events would have been avoided if someone had had the courage to do something about them before we got to this terrible climax. If that maid had spoken to father. If Father had told what he knew of his wife's family to the church. If Mothers confessor had spoken up... All of these things are as the result of shameful secrets being kept and as a result, more harm is done in the long run.

“Sam was right when he said that our decision will be examined by the people who come after us.

“So what do we tell them.

“All along there has been a sentiment said which is along the lines of “Flame Frederick, if only you had said nothing,” or “If only you'd left well enough alone.”

“I've even expressed those feelings myself but I was wrong. These things need to come out.

“What we need to tell people is that we will not suffer evil to exist. We also need to tell people that they should bring that evil to our attention and that we will act on it and investigate no matter who the culprit or the accuser are.

“Our mother's real crime was to stay silent after doing the deed and for taking the law into her own hands rather than going to the proper authorities. Our Father is also guilty of that crime. That is what should be punished. If we kill her, all we are telling people is not to bring things up and to take matters into their own hands.”

I laughed suddenly, startling myself.

“Remember what our parents taught us. It says what I'm trying to say much simpler and more eloquently.”

I turned to mother again and waited until she met my gaze.

“It's not what you did, it's the way you did it.

“We shouldn't punish the murder. It needed to happen. It was the way that murder was performed and the way that the aftermath was handled that needs to be punished.

“Death is too much for that crime.”

“What do you suggest instead?” I couldn't tell from his tone whether Mark approved or not.

A thought occurred.

“I approve of Witchers.” I said after a moment. “I think that they are needed sometimes. That necessary blade like a surgeons knife or an executioners axe.

“Mother wanted to take holy orders. I suggest that this be denied.”

I think Mother sobbed. She certainly paled.

“Instead, she should certainly live in a convent. But it should be one of those convents that is active in it's community. They should be a healing order where mother could learn to heal the sick and help those who help others. In all other ways other than the most important one she should live as a nun, observing the services and the rites and prayers but she should not be allowed holy orders.

“Instead she should treat that medallion as her holy symbol. She should pray with that in her hand even though she might pray to the flame and the prophets and she should wear it round her neck in place of her symbols.

“I suggest that the mother superior be made fully aware of her penance and when it is time for our Mother to pass on... Then the Mother Superior should make the decision as to whether she can take holy orders on her

death bed.

“That way, she can work towards redemption for the crimes that she allowed to be committed by staying silent.”

I stopped speaking. I felt dizzy and took a small drink of water.

After a long while Mark spoke again.

“I find that I agree with Frederick. Does that suit the other judges?”

“It does,” said Emma.

“Aye,” said Sam after a moment.

“Well madam there is your punishment. You will be denied holy orders until such a time as the abbess of the order that you are sent to deems you worthy. Mother Nenneke of the order of Melitele is well known to me and I shall write a letter of introduction to her. She is well versed in healing and also the nature of Witchers and so I think you will be suited to her care. I see no reason as to why you should not be present for your husbands funeral before you leave. Do you have anything to say?”

“May I address the court as a mother to her children?”

I did not look up.

“You may,” said Mark.

“I am very proud of you all. I made a mistake with the first but the rest of you are a credit to the holy flame and to your father.”

“Then the court is adjourned.”

I was up out of my chair like an arrow leaping from the bow-string. I made it the courtyard before vomiting. But only just.

It took a while but by the time I looked up Kerrass was there waiting for me with a large cup of honeyed milk.

“Drink this,” he said. “It'll help with the reaction.”

I downed the cup,

“Feel better?”

“Much.”

“Your brother tells me that you've gotten wise in your old age.”