Chapter 268: After this, I ruled over my territory as leader

After this, I ruled over my territory as leader .

That being said, honestly my duties weren’t much different from beforehand .

Each day I was pursued by my work, and hunched over a desk making my best effort .

Although…there were a lot fewer people charging into my room with dramatic announcements, so I had a lot more spare time .

I learned from Lady Letticia that she was officially succeeding to the throne .

Seems like after a year of mourning for Dean she was going to hold her coronation .

I would attend the ceremony as well as leader of my territory .

This would be the first ceremony I attended as leader…basically the first time I would appear in public as a territory leader .

A year, huh .

I couldn’t help but sigh .

After he was gone, several weeks felt like a long, long time .

Like Mother said, occasionally I would feel a streak of pain in my chest .

But now I even enjoyed this pain .

“Where are you heading, milady?”

When I walked out the room, I encountered Tanya who was walking over with files in her hands .

“I’m going to take a walk . I need to move around . ”

“Then let me come…”

“No, that’s fine . I’ll just walk around in the yard . ”

I left her behind and walked out .

The spring air enveloped me with warmth .

When I stretched, my bones made a cracking sound .

Sitting at my desk every day was making my body stiff . Thinking this, I gazed out at my beautiful garden to relax .

“The weather is great…”

Looking up, I saw the clear blue sky .

“Is Dean somewhere in that sky?”

I couldn’t help but say this to myself, clasping my pocket watch .

He was protecting me from above…it was a fairytale belief that I clung to .

No, I forced myself to .

“No . Not in the sky . ”

My murmurs were greeted by someone responding behind me .

The familiar voice made me freeze where I stood .

Unbelievable .

“It can’t be…”

I was already hallucinating voices, huh, I attempted to calm my shaking body .

But as if to mock me, the voice continued to ring out .

“I’m so sorry, milady . I always lie to you . ”

My tears began to fall slowly .

It wasn’t a mishearing or a hallucination .

“What kind of lie is it?”

The voice shuddered .

“So many . An identity as the son of a merchant from the merchants’ guild . Pretending to be calm when I heard about your engagement . And my death . ”

“None of it matters…!”

Turning around, I rammed into his chest .

It was him .

It was him…Alfred Dean Tasmeria .

His warmth, the heartbeat I heard in his chest, was enough for me to burst into tears .

He was alive…alive!

“As long as you’re still alive, I don’t need anything else…”

His hands wrapped around my back .

The shuddering in his hands couldn’t be a hallucination .

Engulfed in emotions, I hugged him harder .

I wanted the concreteness of him being right here, right now .

We hugged each other, enjoying the warmth of our bodies .

I wanted to see you…wanted to see you!

And yet I was powerless to do so .

Even if I knew I couldn’t see him again, I still hungered for him, chased after him .

Lightly, our bodies separated . I raised my hands to his cheeks .

“But why?”

“I was indeed injured by arrows, and was in fatal danger…but thanks to the doctor’s hard work, I survived . But by that point the news that I had passed away had already made it back to the palace . ”

“Ah…so you’re fine? Not in pain anymore?”

“I’m completely recovered, without any after effects . ”

He said with a smile . I sighed in relief .

“Is that so…that’s good . ”

“Only the doctor who saved me knows I survived . I asked him not to spread the news . ”

“Why is that?”

“Letty said I wasn’t suitable for the role of king . She wanted to be king, so I should just back down . I think that in some ways this was the right thing for her to do…since she was already handling everything in the palace anyways . If I went back it would just be more chaotic . ”

Dean chuckled .

“My sister told me to do something I wanted to do . What I want to do is work here . ”

Dean clasped my hands on his face .

“In the past I thought my only two paths were becoming king or dying . I’d never thought of any other possibility . Everything I did was to become king…and I only connected with the people around me for this purpose . ”

I listened quietly to his confession .

“But when I was here, it was different . My imagined future disappeared from my mind . I enjoyed my work here…”

“Dean…”

These words sounded like a declaration of love .

My heart kept leaping at his words .

“I couldn’t help but wish . I couldn’t help but wonder . At another future . I wanted to build a future I had never seen and never imagined with you . ”

His hands tightened .

“Although in the past you only hired me on a temporary basis, I want to work here forever . I am a ghost now . May I have this privilege?”

“…Of course!”

Indeed, since he was dead he had no status .

But what did that matter?

After tasting despair once, I was willing to labor at any cost . No, this wasn’t even hard work for me .

Clasping my hand, Dean knelt down on one knee .

It was like a fairytale, a knight to a princess .

“Hold on…Dean!”

His sudden movement made me shout, my eyes wide .

But he just smiled and shook his head .

His determined eyes fixed upon me . They stole my consciousness away .

“I love you . ”

And then his words stunned me .

No disguising, simple words .

But the emotion behind them was enough for my tears to start flowing .

“I’ve always been lying to you, this whole time . Now I’m a phantom with no real identity who can never step onto the stage of this world . I’ll create a lot of work for you, I’m sure . But I don’t want to lie to you anymore . I love you, from the bottom of my heart . Even if I know the toll it might take on you, I can’t give up . I want to walk into the future with you . Please, may I accompany you in the journey of your life?”

My face was hot .

Joy, happiness . My chest felt full .

“You care about these things . ” I took his hand .

“These things…It’s odd for me to say this, but they really are a lot of trouble . A man without an identity cannot be husband to a territory’s ruler . Plus, this man has royal blood, the rights to the throne…so he can never walk onto the political scene . ”

“None of this matters to me . Because this way I can be with you . I thought you were dead . Faced with a miracle like this, these things are nothing important . ”

He was wide-eyed at my response .

I pulled him to his feet, and buried my face in his chest .

Everything I should say and do as a lady, as the daughter of a duke, disappeared in my mind .

“That being said, this also means you’re giving up the crown for me? Even if you come back as king, I’m already the ruler of this territory . I have no intentions of giving up this position, no matter how much I love you . ”

“Iris…”

“I’m a troublesome woman too, Dean . Even if I love you, I have my own wants and refuse to stray from my path . Because I love this land, and I love the people who live here . ”

I couldn’t back down on this point, no matter how much I loved him .

“That’s exactly the Iris that I love . ” He laughed .

“Dean…”

We were gazing at each other, with only the other person in our universe .

“But you have to promise me this . ”

His earnest eyes sought elaboration .

“I’ve had enough suffering . Don’t tell lies that will make me shed tears anymore . ”

The pain, the suffering, the tragedy .

Feeling like my chest was about to be rent apart…I couldn’t handle those emotions any longer .

“Of course . I’ve had enough of the lies too . ”

His hands caressed my face .

I let his hands take me, looking up to him .

“I want to be with you . Closer than anyone else…I love you too . ”

Finally, I could say the words . I love you .

My true feelings, my intense longing .

A deep satisfaction overcame me and I sighed in relief .

His face approached mine gently . I closed my eyes .

And so our lips pressed together .

So touching and loving .

Grateful that he still lived, grateful for everything I had .

At the same time, my heart filled with a rash impulse .

I wanted to erupt, to scream .

I wanted him to be completely mine, to the point where I couldn’t think about anything else .

Hopefully he was satisfied as me . Perhaps we were thinking the same thought .

And then we separated

“Well then, let’s go back first . ”

If we continued we’d be far too immersed . My embarrassment didn’t stop me from making this suggestion .

“Yes . ”

He was blushing too .

It was an adorable sight that made me smile .

“Everyone will welcome you back . We were all so sad to hear you’d passed . ”

“How should I say this…I’m sure everyone in the financial offices will be a little more reserved . ”

“Indeed…”

We held hands .

The warmth at our fingertips made us shudder .

Was it possible to keep walking like this from now on?

“All right, let’s go then! Dean . ”

“All right .